Eboni K Williams & Iyanla Vanzant “Dating a Bus Driver” Debate Sparks Conversations Online About Hypergamy and “Dating Down” For Women of Color


A recent debate between Eboni K Williams and Iyanla Vanzant on the topic of "dating a bus driver" has ignited widespread conversations online. This thought-provoking discussion has brought to the forefront issues surrounding hypergamy and the concept of "dating down," specifically concerning women of color. Let's delve into the key points and implications of this debate.

Understanding Hypergamy

Hypergamy refers to individuals seeking partners of a higher social or economic status than themselves. It has long been a subject of scrutiny, particularly for women. The debate between Williams and Vanzant explores whether hypergamy is a valid preference or an outdated concept that perpetuates societal inequality. The focus is on how this notion affects women of color and whether they are more likely to face limited options and judgment when choosing a partner.

The "Dating Down" Stigma

"Dating down" refers to the idea of dating someone perceived to be of lower social or economic status. In the context of women of color, this concept is often accompanied by stereotypes and prejudice. The discussion sparked by Williams and Vanzant sheds light on how societal expectations and biases can influence the dating choices of women, particularly those from marginalized communities. It challenges the notion that a person's worth should be solely determined by occupation or social status.

Eboni K Williams' Perspective

Eboni K Williams, a prominent television host, and commentator, argues that hypergamy should not limit women's choices and that it is important to focus on compatibility and shared values in relationships. She emphasizes the need to break away from rigid social constructs and dismantle stereotypes that restrict women, especially women of color, from exploring genuine connections beyond social hierarchies.

Image Credit: Essence Magazine

Iyanla Vanzant's Counterargument

Iyanla Vanzant, a renowned spiritual life coach, takes a different stance in the debate. She suggests that hypergamy can be a rational choice for women seeking relationship stability and security. Vanzant highlights the importance of acknowledging historical and societal contexts, which may contribute to the preferences and decisions of women, including those from marginalized communities.

Impact on Women of Color

The "Dating a Bus Driver" debate has sparked important conversations about the challenges women of color face when it comes to dating. It has drawn attention to the intersections of race, gender, and social status and the unique experiences that women of color encounter in their romantic pursuits. By addressing these issues head-on, the debate encourages a more nuanced understanding of the complexities and nuances surrounding dating preferences and choices within marginalized communities.


The Eboni K Williams and Iyanla Vanzant debate on "dating a bus driver" has ignited a valuable conversation about hypergamy and "dating down" for women of color. By challenging societal expectations and biases, this discussion invites us to reconsider rigid notions of status and encourage a more inclusive and understanding approach to dating and relationships.

Contributed By Sana Mubashar

Sana Mubashar is a seasoned content writer and blogger with over 5 years of global experience. She has been actively serving clients worldwide through platforms like Fiverr and Upwork. Her expertise lies in various areas including website landing page development, copywriting, blog post writing, affiliate writing, product reviews, press releases, and other types of writing. Sana excels in crafting unique content and implementing effective strategies to enhance online presence and engage target audiences.

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